Doing

What am I doing

It’s been a long time since I’ve sat and asked that

since I’ve taken the time to write thoughts out.

I’ll probably read these words someday and think

there I was,

struggling,

in need of help,

ambitious,

and determined.

Every night that goes by

and I don’t take a step closer to the world I dream of,

I feel I take a step back toward the world I’m afraid of waking up in one day.

I turn here when the sheer overwhelming nature of this existence

forces itself to the surface

and I must say or do something to release its energy,

What am I doing?

Raised in a normal middle class household,

you’d think a steady job would be enough.

Its not.  At least not this job and probably not any other job

that isn’t a family of creative people

pressing their imagination into the tools and resources

that amplify and document the infinite designs of audio and visual stimuli,

where we are rewarded for our contributions and in turn have the capability

to impact communities by facilitating a redecoration of the economic and cultural landscapes

that cause too many too much strife.

Hard work, celebrations, inspiration, adventures…

I want them all.

I’m in the trenches of the most important years of my life.

I want to breathe and find the peace I need to not stress myself out for each opportunity missed.

But I also must not ease my pace to where too many opportunities go by.

If I’m lucky I’ll have a wife and family in the next several years.

If I’m luckier I’ll have the pleasure of waking up everyday to a work environment that fits who I am

and what I’m truly passionate about.

But its not a matter of luck.

Anyway,

Talking isn’t as comforting as acting.

I need a gameplan.

I need to execute.

So to answer my own question,

What am I doing?

I’m doing what I know I got to do.

Why?

Because its the least I can do to honor that which has given me everything and continues to guide me and comfort me and that which weaves together this strange and wondrous existence.

Building platforms for beauty and uplifting energy to flourish as well as sharing the divine nature of creation is the point of this life.  That and women, friends, music, tacos, randomness, and all the other experiences that we can collect.

 

Remember

its impossible to pull away from the intense emotion
seared into a moment that forever lives in time
to not take a minute to acknowledge this event that changed everything
that happened from then on,
sitting across the coast I have no idea
no comprehension for an attack on my home,
to see my neighbors trapped
dying
falling from the skyline,
all I have are the pictures and film
keeping these memories frozen,
the sheer horror
shock and grief
loved ones
suddenly ripped away
without warning
without reason that makes any sense
to someone who was not part of the war,
its the images of sons and daughters
of firefighters and police
covered in ash,
its the children and parents
kneeled down
with their hand on the name
of the one they lost,
its the thought that this is real
that families were torn apart
and heroes whose names I’ll never know
rushed in to save who they could
in a scenario where death was an actual possibility,
many charged forward and gave themselves
faces i’ll never see
hands i’ll never shake,
its unbelievable
its impossible to turn eyes away
from the most graphic footage I can find
because I want to feel what was felt
I owe that to those who experienced this tragedy
to pay a respect
and take as much time as feels right
to honor and thank those who are no longer here,
who did their job and saved lives at the cost of their own
to bow my head for those whose wounds are forever fresh
who now miss that person, or those people in their lives
fathers, daughters, mothers, sons, friends
buried in this history
there are no cliches, no antidotes, no words
that can rewrite the story,
whether we are stronger now as people
as a nation, as a world
is all irrelevant right now
This is not about politics
This is not about why this happened
This is to remember our humanity
That underneath all our layers
we are connected to the people in our lives in a very intimate way
and when that physical bond is broken
we bleed
and countless people bled that day,
May we never forget what this feels like

What do you want

what does the world want from me
is it the same thing that i want from it
what’s the best way to manifest all these ideas
its easy to feel like a small fish in a huge whirlpool
spinning around
seeing others get money they spend carelessly
when I could use it not just for myself
but for the people around me who want to do good
i see so much potential in our energy
where do i fit in to its growth
its advancement
daily accomplishments are all there is left
to work toward the bigger goal
so that i can have all these things I want
that I hope the world wants as well
a collective of artists and good hearted individuals
collaborating on efforts to spread art throughout communities
providing new expressions
to fuel the inspiration that powers our existence
like minded people working toward a goal of peace
hidden beneath a world of madness and chaos
suffocating from its own pollution
I know these things I want are part of the change that must occur
to allow this planet to become vibrant with positive, creative atmospheres
that keep our environments rich with sustainable food for the body and mind,
it just gets overwhelming
being one out of 7 billion or so
who doesn’t drive a fancy car like people on TV
or own a big house
with my own office building
and a enormous bank account
which funds long trips to exotic locations with my beautiful family
when you see the lifestyle humans are capable of living
it is hard to not strive to reach the highest level
to be widely known for what you have done
to be respected for how hard you have worked to get there
the truth is that the majority of people who reached those heights
probably were at this point at one time or another
exhausted and uncertain of exactly how
they were going to get to that place they see when their eyes are closed
projecting the daily routine they imagine themselves living
to wake up next to someone beautiful who truly loves you,
to go to work at a job you love,
to help others live a better quality of life,
to impact the world in a way where we move closer to our unlimited possibilities as human beings
and come home to family and friends who have been with you through the best and worst of times,
it seems so simple
the journey is the interesting part
all these years we live
doing what we feel we need to do
I only can hope that whatever frequency is broadcasting my thoughts
continues to feed meaning into my actions
and that they aren’t futile
that there is a grand scheme
which needs my contribution
its hard to tell the line between what I want for myself
and what the divine source that composes all existence
wants from me,
regardless,
let signs, symbols and emotion continue to guide my opportunity
to reach a destination that resembles the visions I have
of a life I want to lead

By Brandon G.

A Scene

it was quite the scene
a ballroom decorated in elegance,
the two began the evening completely unaware
they shared the same room,
he was alone,
and she was breathtaking…

the piano began to serenade the surroundings,
notes fell slowly in sync with rain upon the large windows,
as the rest moved in unison,
he slid through seamlessly,
searching,
she waited patiently as the song carried on,
sinking beneath her smile,
his first glimpse of her froze him where he stood,
the madness that is his life
broke upon her light,
she was on the verge of tears,
her unappreciated beauty radiated
against her loneliness on this night,
after so much,
to be somewhere so wonderful,
to hear such an intoxicating song,
to have to watch other couples so care free,
it was then that she noticed him,
watching one another through the herd of tuxedos and black dresses,
they recognized each other…

the music became soft and warm,
he parted the crowd,
she became nervous,
his hand held out with silence on his lips,
she let herself go,
his touch brought back images,
while her eyes refreshed thoughts of what once was,
the piano roared
drawing them closer together,
feeling each others breath brush against their skin,
they almost pulled away,
but the sense of the moment
locked their embrace
and glances opened doors thought to be sealed,
his rugged face pressed against her tender cheek,
it seemed so much so fast,
it was seconds ago that their lives had remained separate,
a life full of friends and a career,
yet love fleeting…

Here they were,
such a meeting
was too grand for coincidence to arrange,
the melody rose and swam around them
singing of love and pain,
their grip tightened
strides pushing and pulling
heat melting the air around them,
the intensity forced her to walk away,
before she could he took her hand,
leading her back into his arms,
lips nearly touching,
they looked deep into each other,
unsure of what this meant,
the climax of the composition drifted into graceful harmonies,
illuminating this affair with magnificent textures of romance,
from above the dance floor they looked like a rose
in a garden of wilted flowers,
her in her red dress
and he in his grey suit,
the song sang its last words
as a tear ran along her nose,
she sprinted outside,
he paused,
knowing how much he had already inflicted upon her…

she stood there overlooking vast landscapes below the veranda,
her tears masked by the rain,
confused about her want for him to be there,
he was stranded,
people danced around him,
oblivious to what just happened
and the incredible impact it had on two lives,
he went to find her,
not entirely certain himself of what it would mean
if they went forward with what the last few minutes had presented,
questions about the future
poured over his head as he stood in the rain watching her,
wondering what path to follow,
she cried her deepest cries
giving up that he was coming to her,
it was then that she felt a hand on her shoulder,
turning her around,
he swept his fingers across her striking face,
she closed her eyes
breathing a sigh of acceptance for what would come next…

By Brandon G.

TV Dinners

Some minds are trapped in a world where everyone has buzz cuts,
women don’t talk back to their husbands,
discrimination is funny,
authority goes unquestioned,
and emotions are entirely suppressed.
Quick to hate what is different,
turn their back on those in need
and allow the falsely conceived mindset of superiority dominate their perspective.
The imbalance in the world has been intentionally constructed
and allowed to continue by those who dominate economically.
The game of politics has been twisted to mask the idea of democracy.
Basic human principals like food, education, healthcare and shelter
should be provided for everyone, regardless of birthplace, race, or sex.
Idealism is no longer an excuse for lack of action,
or apathy towards making these concepts a reality.
The resources are all available,
it is simply a matter of greed and hoarding
by those who sit upon their castles and throw away what could provide for many.
Laughing and hiding in their emptiness,
attempting to fill their withering soul
with a sense of satisfaction that seems to slip away
with each cheek that turns from the responsibility given to their power.

By Brandon G.

What it is

an indescribable blast
sent us soaring through space
shards of heat
spinning in each direction,
gravity gathered what pieces it could
as we slid through vast emptiness,
explosions caused fusion
and matter melted into ever powerful orbs
planted into the sediments of this universe,
massive clumps of tangible energy would glow
as others
cooled in the darkness
becoming dust, gas, liquid and rock
rotating around the
weight of their core,
each atom has one
each human has one
each planet has one
each solar system has one
each galaxy has one
as the universe once had one
until it burst
our existence spawned from
the force which caused that initial eruption
now infinite star systems
lay scattered like schools of fish in the sea,
these is no understandable explanation of how perspective evolved,
from the nothingness that once was
we have sailed through the channels of history
to arrive at these horizons
decorated in rocket ships, skyscrapers and cell phones,
communities of tradition and beauty
all crafted from rubble of the incomprehensible years that have passed
each vessel with it’s embedded connection
beams radiating vibrations
aligning with rhythms that
trace back to the source of all that is,
with each breath we dive further
into this epic journey
writing our stories with memories
that leave our presence forever
woven into the fabric
documenting the legacy of existence,
no matter what anyone says
we are all a part of this
By: Brandon G